I wish I could tell you that this is going to be the last disappointment you face, but it isn’t.
Never say never in life.
Life has given me opportunities that I never dreamt possible: a wonderful husband, a career that I adore, gifted children, and the chance to work on building an amazing legacy in others. But it has also thrown me curve balls.
I will never forget crying out to God saying, “Listen, I didn’t sign up for this. I am 24!” I wasn’t ready to have a child with a disability. I wasn’t ready to have my baby in NICU. The feeling of despair when you realize you don’t need the car seat in your car anymore because you don’t know if you are going to take your baby home. Being told you might need to feed your baby with a G-tube. Being told she has failure to thrive. Hearing your baby scream as they poke and prod, taking more blood to test for rarer and rarer disabilities.
Being told by people around you, “Well, God knew you could handle a child like this, that’s why you have a baby with a disability.” Do you bond with this beautiful baby, or do you protect your heart, in case the doctor says she won’t live much longer? And then there is that strange feeling, knowing that outside the NICU the world continues on with a hustle and bustle, while you feel so alone, trying just to get through one day. Just facing one hour at a time, one day at a time.
Then the sun rises.
It always does. Life becomes manageable. It’s never the same, and we can’t mourn what was. What life was like last year, or even yesterday. Even through the tough times, there are rays of hope, and you know that you will find those unbelievably fun, happy, joyful times again in life. I wish I could tell you that people won’t hurt you, and that you will never face disappointment again. But it will happen.
Courage, my friend.
Courage to face tomorrow, keeping life in perspective.
Courage to do the right thing, not always the easiest or sometimes most profitable thing.
Courage to treat people with respect, even when they wrong you.
Courage to have boundaries and protect what matters most.
Courage to overcome fear and go after your dreams and make an impact in other people’s lives.
Courage to speak truth when it is easier to agree with lies.
It’s a new day. Embrace the gift you have been given and make the most of it. Find those small moments of joy and be thankful always.